How to be brave?

a neighbour; a simgle mom of 7, passed away this morning. I received the news when i was on my way back home, and it was noon.

I rushed back home and went to surau straight away, alone, leaving other family members  behind. Well at least i can represent my family. People gathered, and were waiting to perform solat janazah. I saw her sons and daughters broke into tears like so bad. They lost their dad at such a young age, and their mom raised them all by herself. And today, they lost their mom.

I wish i can soothe them.

After performing solat janazah, of which was lead bt her son, i went straight to meet  one of her daughters. I barely knew her (what i do know, shes a year older). She was crying so bad at the time, so i hugged her. Wishing if that can help ease her sadness. I hugged her tight and whispered something to her, whishing the words can be one of the reasons for her to try composing herself, at least for today.

Losing people you love aint easy. I imagine losing people dearest to me, mann i dont know if i can even take it. Hence why i am so afraid to emm love people? Because im afraid of losing. So, do not start to love anyone, except for whom youve already loved. But how can i help? I have an overly attached best buddy, dearest friends etc etc, whom i cant help loving them.

9: 24

But theyre not mine.

Not yours,nsmg.

Theyre blessings from Allah, who lends you them.
Need to remind myself over and over again, that Your love is eternal, and others, theyre temporary.

Emm so much things to be reflected today that i volunteered to give tazkirah tomorrow, in a program organized for teens here. Eh sempat promote. Am just gonna share my reflections about today. But something hold me back.

And since im not feeling well, am thinking of passing the role to others. Am i making excuses? Should i just push myself? Haih.

How can i be brave?

Brave to face whats ahead, what Allah has already planned.

huu and..one day itll be my turn.

Have u done enough, nsmg?