Reminiscence

As i was getting rid of unwanted stuffs in the study room, lagu sekolah was playing in my head.

All those stuffs remind me of the things i missed while i was away, and somehow wish if i were to turn back the clock id rather decline any boarding school offer.

Wish i could stay home, remain in the same school- the school that im currently teaching, and spend most of my time at home, with dearest family.

Being away also means i was given more opportunity to explore things, to do nonsense stuffs which i also had the option not to do them but i did, was given the chance to work things out on my own rather than being a spoiled kid (tho i actually still am. ehh, was. or maybe in between am and was :P)

So now im back to the same school that i left back then. This time, as a teacher.

Our batch was the first batch of the school. There was nothing at the time, not even a school badge. Not even lagu sekolah. No lab apparatus, no sports equipments. But we survived. Well at least my friends survived. I was there for just three months anyway.

Looking at the kids, at the things they enjoy doing at the school, remind me of how lucky they are, and wish if i had ever decided to stay. Years ago. Im definitely not saying that im not lucky. I am. Boarding schools, prep school, overseas etc etc. One leads to another. How can I not be grateful when Allah saved me like He always does, but I was too blind to realize it.

I should really get rid of these but's.

Cousins and aunties mentioned that they just cant believe that im big enough, just because i sort of still a 'kid'. I wish i could stay a kid. haha. But this isnt about JUST me. Its about me, the people around me and the ummah, so i have to grow wiser -older doesnt always mean wiser.

A kid wont have lotsa things going on in her head, but i do. So i guess i should declare that i am no longer one. A pat on my back, yeay. But hey, being an adult means another thing. Responsibilities. And responsibilities mean, i need chocolates. I consume lots of them lately but after eating em, I become so anxious about having diabetes. How do I get rid of those chocs?!

And like seriously, why do i have but's everywhere?!

Okay dah lah. mengarut apa ni. kahfi lah jom.
eh, blog ni memang banyak mengarut sungguh. hmm mungkin kena buang lah posts yang terlalu mengarut so that those writings wont testify against me in the hereafter.