6 years for a degree

Assalamualaikum wbt.

its been awhile since i last wrote a post.
ive been thinking lately, does this blog have any benefits to you, readers, and me first and foremost. well this blog is more on thoughts, reflections and what ive been through, so I seek refuge in Allah, from anything that doesnt benefit.
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hmm final year has really gotten into me. like seriously.
lots of things to juggle at the same time, and being me, as usual, i started freaking out, and thinking of quitting.

yes. quit.

just because, am doing the same thing everyday, with a very little progress and i know exactly nothing. okay tipu, thats supposed to be an exaggeration - "knowing nothing". my project isnt progressing well, im doing it like all at once, because ive started panicking that i dont have enough time to complete it on time. so when it supposed to be one at at time, instead im doing it one-at-a-time-and-if-it-doesnt-work-proceed-anyway kind of approach.

not good.

as usual, on my way back home walking alone, i was wondering whats life like when you already have a job, a family to care for, when you cant even juggle things when you dont even have anything to take care of except for yourself?? and even with such situation, youre thinking of quitting!

come on nsmg.
think about how far have you reached. youve struggled for almost six years for a degree. bolehlah jadik doctor :P

and think about this, youve survived, with Allah's help. and why cant you keep holding on for just like another 4 months? come on, the last hurdles are always the toughest.

mind all the monologues. just need that self-motivation, tho sometimes they dont seem to work. kena jugak external motivation hehe.

loads to think.

and today, after spending just 4 hours in lab (due to laziness; usually balik tgh malam), i just feel like doing nothing. so here's a post as a result of laziness and pessimistic. i wonder wheres the old optimistic me has gone?

i promise myself to be a better person, and keep renewing intentions for all the decisions that i made. why, why why and why. but i guess that strong iradah of keeping a promise seems to be weakened today. i have no one else to blame it for, except for myself for not reflecting upon thoroughly all the quranic ayat and mathurat read today,

hope to find a lil hope to be a better person tomorrow.

i miss being optimistic.